If you are not willing to grow, challenge yourself and inspire those around you, this is not for you!
“The real joy of discovery consists not in seeing new landscapes, but in having new eyes” Marcel Proust
The more time I invest in sharing the language of coaching with those I connect with, the more awareness and desire I gain in the need to support, transfer tools and enhance the daily environment where communication resides. The more we bring the language of coaching to our daily interactions the more we can embrace the daily challenges that often hold us back and positively impact our relationships with those we care about.
This passion showed itself in recent comments that were shared with me that continue to reinforce the value that coaching does and can bring. It was shared with me recently after one day of coach training and during the day two energizer when I asked, “What gets you jazzed to get going?” Surprises are great yet I wasn’t expecting this response as a hand went up with the offer to contribute.
“I went home and used the language and tools shared yesterday with my teenage daughter and at the end of our conversation they said… ‘hey mom, thanks, it feels like you were actually listening and understanding what’s important to me, thanks. Can we talk like this more often?’”
As this was shared with the entire room, you could see the emotion through their eyes in that moment. Wow!!! What a start to our day! To have this shared with an amazing smile welcoming participants for our day truly set the tone and again challenged me to share more about the language of coaching. You could see and hear the joy of connecting with someone important. The next comment that followed was, “tell me more because I have relationships at work that I want to improve as well, will you do that today?” One day, one conversation and the impact of coaching made a difference. These skills support the work in our workplace, our relationships with partners and the community we engage in.
Challenge yourself with a “Let’s give it a try” attitude to growing.
In most situations people love to tell stories and share, the challenge is in communication we often take all the floor space and put ourselves in their stories and take their space as their stories become more about us or me, than them. Next time you are having a conversation try this:
“SHUT UP!”…J J or to be politically correct, “quiet the mind”, remove distractions and choose to be present and listen. Rather than tell, what would happen if you went into your next conversation curious to know more? Coaching is creating space for the client/coachee to express without judgment of their views, their frame of reference. Stephen Covey in his work said “seek first to understand, then be understood”. Bring this to your conversations as a way of listening and being genuinely curious to understand. The challenge is to quiet the mind, listen and ask powerful questions that elicit and evoke thinking in a collaborative framework.
The question asked which created the initial action for the example that was shared with the group above was “How would the relationship change if you just listened?”
Now…Imagine a room full of an organization’s Leadership Team embracing change and integrating the language of coaching into their existing skill set and how they show up on a daily basis? Step back and ask yourself what it feels like to be heard, listened too, and encouraged? …is this an organization and a leader you want to follow?
If the real joy of discovery consists not in seeing new landscapes, but in having new eyes, imagine what you can see when you have extra eyes to help guide the discovery?
My request to you is to go into your next conversation, meeting, presentation from a place of curiosity and ask questions to elicit the knowledge of those you ask. I guarantee, given the chance, a person’s own wisdom can be a powerful tool to help them move forward in work, in life and with purpose. Go ahead…give it a try!